9 Things That Will Shock the Fuck Out of You About Heaven

  1. Everyone has either a Freddy Kreuger glove or Wolverine claws – and their assignment is totally random.
  2. No one remembers their middle name from their life on Earth.
  3. Only Pepsi products are available as beverages.
  4. Under no circumstances will you be an Angel – Unless you arm wrestle one of the original angels and win best 3 out of 5.
  5. There are 72 genders in heaven and you have to fornicate with each of the 71 that you are not – weekly.
  6. EVERYTHING smells like Play-Doh – especially urine.
  7. You are allowed to willfully confuse humans by making them hallucinate.
  8. Dude ranches are frowned upon.
  9. Everyone has the ability to make a perfect pie crust from scratch.
Posted in WTF

My Bikes

I now have TWO bikes. I’ve had my MirraCo BMX for 10 or 11 years, and this week I got my new Schwinn mountain bike. I’m excited about making a habit of riding it in order to get into better shape.

MirraCo Signature BMX Bike
Schwinn Sidewinder Mountain Bike

Landing Page Relaunch

My site at my old URL got hacked. I fixed it, but Facebook won’t accept that it’s no longer risky. After countless attempts to reach FB support without results, I gave up. I’m now launching unit9.xyz to replace ikev.in. I use this site as an occasional blog and as a landing page to direct people to my presence on all of my other sites and social media. At least throwing together simple websites is kind of fun for me!